Woody Allen once quipped,
“I enjoy masturbation. At least, I know I’m having sex with someone I love.” Twenty-five years ago, this remark would have been considered scandalous; today, we laugh. We also laugh about the old myths that masturbation causes warts, hairy palms, blindness, and insanity. Surprisingly, adolescents haven’t gotten this message.
New Myths have Replaced the Old Ones.
Many teenagers believe that masturbation means you are a homosexual. (There is no connection.) Some believe that masturbation stunts your sexual development, saps your strength, or causes acne. (It doesn’t.) A few still believe tales of hairy palms and insanity. Among boys, especially, the general feeling is that masturbation isn’t “real sex,” that it is immature. Masturbation is still a dirty word for teenagers. The slang boys use to describe it “jacking off,” “wacking it” is derogatory; girls seldom have slang terms for it.
Masturbation is one sexual topic adolescents do not discuss among themselves, even with their best friends. If they do bring the subject up with their parents, their questions are likely to be indirect. “Is having intercourse the only way to not be a virgin?” (Yes, that’s what virgin means.) “Can a guy use up his sperm?”
(No, as explained earlier.) “If a girl puts her finger in her vagina, will she break her hymen?” (She may, but this is unlikely.)
To set the record straight, for parents as well as teenagers: Masturbation is a natural, harmless way of feeling sexual pleasure and relieving sexual tension. Most people masturbate at times, even when they are married and have a good sex life. Some people masturbate a lot, some very rarely, and some not at all. All of these patterns are normal and healthy. If you enjoy masturbation, that’s fine; if you don’t, that’s fine, too.
Parents should answer their children’s direct or indirect questions honestly and matter-of-factly. And if they discover that a youngster is masturbating, they should not be surprised, angry, or concerned.
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